Jelly Bean
FPCH Distinguished Member
No,Nev is in the bed behind me hahahahahahaha
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Jokes
- Thread starter maynardvdm
- Start date
Plastic Nev
Deceased - sadly missed
This must be one of the funniest office pranks I have seen for some time.
Imagine it, you have been running round the office, helping others, delivering paper work to the boss, stood at the photocopier for half an hour, another half an hour at the shredder, you are ready to sit down and have a rest and PAAAARP.
Imagine it, you have been running round the office, helping others, delivering paper work to the boss, stood at the photocopier for half an hour, another half an hour at the shredder, you are ready to sit down and have a rest and PAAAARP.
Plastic Nev
Deceased - sadly missed
From a farmer friend.
I recently spent £6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull.
I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.
I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows!
He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbour's cows!
He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him................
.......but they kind of taste like peppermint.
I recently spent £6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull.
I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.
I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows!
He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbour's cows!
He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him................
.......but they kind of taste like peppermint.
Plastic Nev
Deceased - sadly missed
I seem to have a problem with my mouse pointer, it has gained a life of its own.
Nev.
Nev.
Plastic Nev
Deceased - sadly missed
A recent scientific announcement says we should never trust atoms, they make up everything.
From a different story, if you see a couple of bacteria around on the forum, it is OK, they work here, they are staph.
(Don't know what that makes me though!)
Nev.
From a different story, if you see a couple of bacteria around on the forum, it is OK, they work here, they are staph.
(Don't know what that makes me though!)
Nev.
Plastic Nev
Deceased - sadly missed
A small Scottish community had kept a communal cow for many years to provide milk for everyone, however as it got older it stopped producing milk.
The village elders got together and realised that they would have to get another cow, and as they found out there was a cow for sale at a reasonable price from a small village in Wales, so they arranged for its purchase.
Once the cow had arrived everyone was once again happy as the new Welsh cow was providing lots of milk.
The elders thought that it may be a good idea to obtain a bull so that to prevent a future loss of milk they should be able to breed more cows, so a bull was obtained.
However it seemed to prove a bit fruitless as whenever the bull approached the cow, the cow moved away, whatever the bull did, the cow wouldn't allow him anywhere near.
The next nearest village did have an old vet who was regarded as perhaps the wisest man in Scotland, so they went to see him and explained that the bull couldn't do his duty with the new cow as whatever the bull tried, the cow just avoided him, if the bull approached from behind, the cow moved forwards, if from the front, the cow moved backwards, if from the side she moved sideways away.
The vet rubbed his chin and asked if the cow happened to be from Wales?
The people were amazed as they hadn't told him where it had come from, so he must indeed be a wise man, so asked him how he knew?
He looked into the distance with a whimsical look and said "My wife is from Wales!"
The village elders got together and realised that they would have to get another cow, and as they found out there was a cow for sale at a reasonable price from a small village in Wales, so they arranged for its purchase.
Once the cow had arrived everyone was once again happy as the new Welsh cow was providing lots of milk.
The elders thought that it may be a good idea to obtain a bull so that to prevent a future loss of milk they should be able to breed more cows, so a bull was obtained.
However it seemed to prove a bit fruitless as whenever the bull approached the cow, the cow moved away, whatever the bull did, the cow wouldn't allow him anywhere near.
The next nearest village did have an old vet who was regarded as perhaps the wisest man in Scotland, so they went to see him and explained that the bull couldn't do his duty with the new cow as whatever the bull tried, the cow just avoided him, if the bull approached from behind, the cow moved forwards, if from the front, the cow moved backwards, if from the side she moved sideways away.
The vet rubbed his chin and asked if the cow happened to be from Wales?
The people were amazed as they hadn't told him where it had come from, so he must indeed be a wise man, so asked him how he knew?
He looked into the distance with a whimsical look and said "My wife is from Wales!"
LMAO
That's all I can say about that.
That's all I can say about that.
Plastic Nev
Deceased - sadly missed
Hum, looking a bit derelict around here recently so here is something to grin about.
Jimmy knocked on the door and a husband opened it, Jimmy said "Your wife has just made me crash my car into a tree"
Husband replied, "She can't have done, she is upstairs having a shower"
Jimmy replied, "I know,----- your curtains are open".
Jimmy knocked on the door and a husband opened it, Jimmy said "Your wife has just made me crash my car into a tree"
Husband replied, "She can't have done, she is upstairs having a shower"
Jimmy replied, "I know,----- your curtains are open".
Plastic Nev
Deceased - sadly missed
One dark night a lady with a huge black eye stumbled into the police station. She said that she had heard a noise out on the back garden and had gone to investigate. The next thing she knew was that she had been hit hard in the face and had blacked out for a short time.
A police officer was sent to her home and returned later also sporting a black eye. "Did you get hit by the same attacker" asked the sergeant
"No sergeant, I didn't, I stepped on the same garden rake"
A police officer was sent to her home and returned later also sporting a black eye. "Did you get hit by the same attacker" asked the sergeant
"No sergeant, I didn't, I stepped on the same garden rake"
How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1. We are efficient and don't like humor.
1. We are efficient and don't like humor.
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